Being mum: 2-4 months 

A lot of people told me that things will get easier at around 4 months so here’s hoping that’s true! Although there’s also the threat of the dreaded 4 month sleep regression hanging over my head! 

Since my last update and 2 months old things have improved dramatically. The girls have got in to a loose routine and go to bed at the same time each night. This is really nice as it’s given Josh and me sometime to just be us! The girls also feed less frequently and I’d say they have around 8-10 feeds a day now, rather than the 15-16 previously! They only wake once or twice for a feed in the night meaning their feeds are more concentrated through the day, though. We still tend to feed every 1.5 -2 hours. They are also so much more aware of the world now…watching TV, enjoying looking around from their push chair and engaging with toys. They laugh and have certain things which they enjoy personal to them. For me, this stage has been challenging as the days have got much shorter and it gets dark earlier which means I struggle to get out for walks… especially since the weather has got so bad and it rains a lot! My aim for the new year is to get out to more groups etc with the girls because it’s hard being home all the time. I guess I find it a challenge especially because it’s hard to keep both girls occupied when we’re out and about. I would definitely say that I feel more settled being their mum now than before and more confident in my abilities! 

 HAPPY 3 MONTH BIRTHDAY 🎈my precious little Dotty Lou! At 3 months you are such a smiley baby. Your hair has almost all fallen out, your eyelashes have got really long, you still love your dummy and have sharp little finger nails! You’re smaller than your sister and weigh 12lb 5oz but you’re growing well and have a perfect growth rate. You love face to face time and are happy to interact with anyone. You still struggle with tummy time and your head always falls to one side! You coo and gurgle much more than M but physically you’re not quite as strong. You have beautiful eyes and a smile that could melt anyone’s heart. I have a feeling you’re going to be incredibly kind and understanding when you grow up. You’re chilled out and are happy to just look at people… you love your Daddy so much and search for him in every room. You also get fixated on random spots in the room and start giggling. You still don’t particularly like baths and you scream so hard it makes us feel awful just for cleaning you!  You get rosy cheeks when you’re hot just like daddy and furrow your brow constantly. You love sleeping in mummy and daddy’s bed and enjoy waking up at random times in the night and deciding it’s playtime. You enjoy trying to hold your own bottle which makes us think you might be quite independent. You have a perfect latch but you fall asleep on the boob and then you get hungry quickly! You’ve realised you have a sister and love talking and giggling at her… even when all you get in return is a smack round the face! 😂 congrats baby you’re a quarter of a year old and we love you soooooooo much! 

 Little Margot you are a quarter of a year old! You look completely bald but you actually have a lot of blond fluffy hair growing on top! You are a chunky monkey at 13lb 8oz! You are different from your sister in a lot of ways … you certainly aren’t chilled out. You need attention constantly and always want to be held. More than that you have to be bounced around and played with… sitting quietly is not an option! You are such a gorgeous and smiley little bubba and you have a little laugh scream you give us when we’re lucky! You still love feeding and seem to be doing it constantly. Lately you seem quite clingy on mummy and have a funny little bottom lip when you get upset!  You suffer with a bumpy little heat rash and you’ve got a big double chin! You fall asleep pretty easily at night and have adapted to your sleep routine well. White noise is like magic with you… calms you down instantly. The last few days you’ve only woken up once through the night and we’re praying it continues! You are so strong and can do baby push ups  for ages… you bring us so much joy and we cannot imagine life without the joy you bring us! We love you tonnes bubba! 

 4 months old already! Dotty is getting more lovely every day. She has recently found her hands and cannot stop staring at them! She was the first to do a proper laugh and although she’s still much smaller than M she is feeling a lot more solid and less delicate these days. Her head control has got so much better and she is getting better at tummy time. She loves watching cartoons on the TV particularly Curious George and King Julien and grabbing everything that comes her way! Her hairs growing back and she loves sticking her tongue out. She’s very chatty and enjoys being sang to. She’s sleeping better at night and only wakes once or twice however getting her to bed is tough because she likes staying up and watching TV with mummy and daddy! She’s wearing 3-6 months clothing now and size 3 nappies! She’s very dribbly and very cuddly when she’s sleepy. However she’s independent and would quite often prefer to just sit in her chair and look at you… but don’t go out the room or she’ll cry! We love you Dorothy! ❤

 Happy 4 months Margot! Margot has come on so much in the past month and is now laughing and jabbering away like crazy. She still has a huge appetite and is noticeably much bigger than her sister. She is quite routined with her sleep and is very good at settling herself as long as she has a full tummy. She’s getting better at spending time independently and enjoys playing on her play mat. When she wakes from a nap or in the morning she’s in a fabulous mood and is very happy to see you! She is very easily startled and can jump at the slightest thing… (including D crying!!!!) After that she’s very hard to settle. She cries tears now which breaks our hearts and leaves her with salt all over her face! She loves to be thrown about and rough play and likes mummy and daddy to get a good work out! Anything that goes near her mouth goes in it … including Dorothy’s head, dummy or hands! We love you so much Margot!

For my girls on your dedication 

Today my beautiful daughters are getting dedicated in church. If you don’t know what a dedication is, it’s similar to a christening. Instead of baptising as babies we believe you should have your own choice to be baptised when you’re ready. A dedication is a commitment from the parents to bring their children up in God’s ways and be an example of a Godly person to them. With that in mind I wanted to write a post to my girls on this special day. 

Dorothy and Margot, 

Today is a special day for you although you don’t yet know it. Today is your dedication and we’re so excited! You have gorgeous little outfits and a cake with your picture on. Your extended family are coming from far and wide.. from Cornwall, Kent, Bath and Wales among many other places. 

You’re three months old and right now everything about the world is new and exciting for you. Every day I watch you learn new things and take in more and more. At the moment the world is fun and there’s no sadness apart from when you’ve gone a few hours without milk. 

For your dedication the church leaders asked us to think about our dreams and desires for our children’s lives. Of course there are so many things we desire for you… health, safety, kindness etc. But  my biggest dream for you is that you will be adventurers all your lives. I want you to see all the continents of the world, swim in warm oceans, be close to wild animals and eat exotic food. I hope we can adventure together and travel as a family but I also hope you’ll experience some of it by yourself.  I also hope you’ll find adventure the mundane, the daily life; in school and swimming clubs and kids parties. But I truly hope that your biggest adventure will be your relationship with God and all that brings you.  I pray you will find God exciting and let him guide your lives and futures.

Life isn’t always fun an exciting. It can be hard sometimes and sometimes you will need someone to lean on. I pray that God will be your biggest source of comfort when you’re in pain and  the one who gives you strength. I pray that in the difficult times you will draw close to him. 

As you grow up I’d love you to be clever, creative, funny and talented. But most of all I want you to know the importance of being kind and loving others. I want you to see that as the most important thing you can do and your highest calling. I want you to love people fiercely regardless of their situation, their gender, class, religion, race or sexual orientation.  I pray that you will have room for everyone in your heart.

I pray you will be fierce women of God, not content to sit on the sidelines but wanting to get stuck in. I pray you’ll be strong willed and know your own mind but also adaptable and able to compromise. I pray you’ll be generous and selfless like your Daddy and put other people before you.

I don’t know how our lives are going to work out .. it’s a mystery. But I hope your Daddy and I can be examples to you of Godly people. I hope we can bring you up to know and love Jesus and one day you will make your own decisions to follow Him. 

I want you to know that whatever you do we will be your biggest supporters and we will always be cheering you on. 

I love you; my precious daughters. 

Love always, 

Your mummy xxxx 

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born in set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5

“Train a child up in the way they should go and when they are older they will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 

What to expect when you’re not expecting to be expecting…

Bit of a tongue twister isn’t it?! I have been pretty quiet on my blog lately… mainly because I have one secret thing consuming my every thought. I am going to be a mum. I am pregnant. But not just pregnant, pregnant with TWINS.  I am growing two humans inside me, and after I go through the traumatic experience of birthing said humans I am going to be responsible (along with my husband, of course) for keeping them alive, looking after them and fashioning them in to somewhat decent human beings.

The problem is I was never planning on being a mum. I guess I knew it would happen, but it always seemed a fairly abstract, far-off eventuality that a future version of myself would have to deal with. I always thought that future version of myself would be ready, she would have planned this, she would have thought it through. She would have experience with other people’s babies, she’d probably be an auntie and she’d just simply know what to do.

The moment I found out I was pregnant was one of the most crazy moments of my life. Unfortunately it wasn’t joy that filled my heart and soul at that moment… more fear, disappointment, confusion, sadness and tears. I always imagined the moment I found out I was pregnant for  the first time would be a moment of elation for me, but that wasn’t this moment.

Before I go on, let me first say that a child is always a gift. There are many in the world who so desperately desire to have a baby and it doesn’t happen for them, or their journey is riddled with pain and anguish and so what I say now I intend to say with the greatest sensitivity to those still trying or indeed those who have given up hope. I was not trying to have a baby, in fact I was actively trying not to have a baby. I had dreams of travelling the world and being a career woman before I even thought about becoming a mum. So when I found out I was pregnant it was not met with joy but week after week of tears and depression.

I think the world sells us this image of a happy little family but we don’t see what goes on behind closed doors. Unplanned pregnancy isn’t necessarily made easier because you are married or in a relationship. Unplanned pregnancy is a shock which can hit you at any stage or any age in your life. I felt guilty because I thought I should feel a certain way and I didn’t, which I think made me even more depressed. But now I’ve come to the realisation that it’s okay not to get those butterflies and feelings of elation when you find out you’re pregnant, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be a bad parent and it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for the gift that you have been given.

I thought people would judge me for getting pregnant so young. In all honesty I didn’t want to live up to the stereotype of getting married young and settling down. I was afraid of what people thought of me. I was afraid people my age would look at me and feel sorry for me, they’d think to themselves “well that’s good for them but I am so glad it’s not me”. Well the truth is out now and I don’t know if people are thinking those things… if they are I don’t blame them. But I have no plans to settle down, not when I got married and not now I’m having kids. I am still going to see the world, it just might be in a different format to the way I’d originally planned. I’m still going to have a career, only now I have a couple more years to decide what I actually want to do with my life.

I wouldn’t be any sort of Christian if I didn’t believe everything happens for a reason. I believe God has a plan for my life and sometimes that plan doesn’t necessarily match up to my own. God works all things together for good, He sees the big picture but he only reveals to us what we need to see right now. These babies may not have been planned by Josh and me but they were planned and purposed by God. He is knitting them together in my womb as I type this. He guides my path and always will. I put all my trust and faith in Him because I know that He is always faithful to me.

I’m 17 weeks pregnant now and in all honesty I still have my ups and downs. I have days of sheer excitement and I have days when I cry for the life I thought I was going to have. When people say congratulations sometimes I find it hard to play the beaming mum-to-be but I appreciate all the love and support we have received. I wanted people to know our story, to understand how we came to be where we are. But most of all I want people to see that even when your plans don’t fall in to place the way you’d expect, God is still working.

 

Have faith!

Kate-Sig-1